Saturday, November 12, 2011

O Love that will not let me go

11th November 2011, Friday.

You may run in any direction but He's always there - 
looming and towering over every street corner. 

That's precisely how I felt this morning as I wandered through the narrow streets after breakfast in this cathedral city, the seat of my religion. I had intended for this to be a cycling trip but it's too cold and dreary to cycle. I will instead turn this trip into a pilgrimage of sorts. It's a time of reflection - from the time I was an acolyte to my current state. I have always joked that I'm a Cosmopolitan Christian. I've followed just about every single tradition of Christianity. I was even once a fundamentalist - in my turbulent teens.  But what I did not bargain for was to be an atheist and I did become an atheist once. My life has always been one big struggle with atheism which is of course perfectly logical and rational.  It's really tough for those of us who have a religion.  It's very hard to believe in a system that postulates something really fanciful but hasn't got a shred of evidence to prove the truth of its claims. But now is not the time to think and reason.  As Luther cleverly pointed out, "Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has" and elsewhere, he said "Reason is the Devil's greatest whore".

Whenever I visit a large cathedral, I can't help thinking how hard it must be for the altar boys. Most people who have not carried the candlestick to the altar do not know how heavy it is. It's huge, ornamental and made of silver and the aisle in a large cathedral is dreadfully long.

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